


Roll My Hair Put My Lipstick On

by StartledStarfish



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Banter, Crack, Crossdressing, Crossdressing Sherlock Holmes, Family, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Makeup, Parent!lock, Parenthood, johnlock if you want to see it, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 04:47:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14709356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StartledStarfish/pseuds/StartledStarfish
Summary: In which:Rosie wants makeup for her birthday.John doesn't like it.Sherlock thinks it's a great idea.John should have known better than to leave the two of them alone.





	Roll My Hair Put My Lipstick On

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Sherlock Holmes

On Rosie Watson’s 5th birthday, she wishes for makeup.

“But Daaaaaaaaadddy!” Rosie whined.

John let out a sigh. “You’re too young for makeup, Darling,” John said gently. “What about something else?”

“Avery Mae is five! And she has makeup! And she lets her little sister wear it sometimes and she’s only three and a half!” Rosie protested.

John took a deep breath. Oh boy. How was he going to explain this? “You see, Sweetie, some parents think it’s okay for little girls-“

“I’m gonna be a big girl soon, Daddy.” Rosie corrected.

“Yes, I’m sorry, some parents think it’s okay for young ladies to put on makeup. But some people think it’s…” Lord, where was he going with this?

Sherlock chimed in as he entered carrying a cup of tea. “don’t argue with your father, Rosie.’ He said, and John was just about to thank him when he added. “he’s absolutely impossible to reason with when he gets like this. If John doesn’t want to get you makeup for your birthday, I will instead.”

John sat dumbfounded as Rosie cheered and embraced Sherlock happily. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she exclaimed.

Sherlock smiled into his tea, “yes, yes, now run away before he has time to make ridiculous objections.”

Without a backwards glance Rosie left the room hastily. Well… that was that.

Several minutes passed in silence. Sherlock sipped his tea, and John went to reading e-mails. Finally Sherlock gave in. “Oh for goodness sake, John, it’s just some makeup!” he snapped.

“Well I’m sorry for my, quote—‘ridiculous objections'.”

“Well, you were being particularly absurd.”

“Five-year-olds don’t—" John caught himself and lowered his voice. “Five-year-olds don’t go around wearing makeup, Sherlock. It’s not appropriate.”

“Of course not, it’s only for fun, John.” Sherlock waved it off, taking another sip and swallowing. “You wouldn’t deny her a painting set, would you? It essentially the same thing after all.”

“How is it the same as a painting set?!” John demanded. 

“Makeup is paint for the face just as finger paint is for paper, and ink is for canvas. Makeup is a tool of artistry, artistic vision is required to create the new persona, or altered reality we see on a face which is ‘made up' or imagined by the creator. Makeup has a reputation of being used as a mask, or means of hiding unsavory features of older women with insecurities about their appearance. That wouldn’t be an issue with Rosie however because she’s both young and flawless. She only wants the makeup because her friend's mother let’s her daughter’s play with her makeup to distract them and she wishes she had some at home to play with. Since neither I, you, or even Mrs. Hudson wear much at all in the way of makeup, it is a luxury she has no access to.”

Sherlock took a breath before continuing. “really this whole thing could be a way to express her femininity, as she lives with two males. I believe it is normal for young girls to play dress up with clothes and makeup and play pretend to be grown-ups. The only grown up clothes she has in the house are yours and mine, and we are men. No matter how stylish, they are still men’s clothes, and she, is in fact, a young woman…

“Anyway, you’d rather she paints her face than the walls, wouldn’t you?”

John looked at him silently for a moment. Gradually his eyes drifted to a bright yellow smiley face in the wall then back to Sherlock with a raised eyebrow.

The consulting detective took another sip of tea having the decency to look at least somewhat sheepish, if Sherlock could even be sheepish. “That wasn’t the point I was trying to make.” He huffed.

John snorted, but also consented, “fine, if it makes you happy, get her makeup for her birthday, I don’t care.”

“This is for Rosie’s happiness, John,” Sherlock reminded him as John stood to make himself a cup of tea. 

“Thanks to you my daughter is going to be spoiled rotten. One day you’re going to snap in two the way you bend over backwards for her.”

Sherlock shrugged, “You’re just jealous I’m her favorite.”

“Yeah, alright just don’t start crossdressing if she asks for a mother next year.” 

“Of course not,” Sherlock scoffed, “don’t be absurd!”

…

As promised, Sherlock had indeed, gifted Rosie a small amount of makeup for her birthday. Several eyeshadows, two lipsticks (one pale pink and the other red), blush, and small package if glitter. It wasn’t much but it made her blue eyes light up gleefully. Frankly, John wasn’t sure why he was so worried about it in the first place. Rosie didn’t wear it outside or to school, and it kept her occupied and quiet when he and Sherlock we’re working. It was a win-win situation.

The Wednesday after Rosie’s birthday, John was at the surgery. He got out earlier than expected, but he was not about to complain. 

He came up the stairs of 221B to hear Rosie from inside giggling excitedly. “Pink! Let’s do pink!!” John heard through the door.

“I think purple would really be better for my coloring.” Sherlock’s voice was slightly quieter and deeper in stark contrast to Rosie’s. 

“Hmmmmm, no, pink!!” John opened the door quietly, curious as to what was going on inside. Sherlock was lying flat on his back in the center of the carpet. Rosie had her makeup out and was bending over Sherlock’s face with brush in hand, smashing it into the pink eyeshadow of the pallet.

“According to my skin tone, I should stick to cool tones. Pink is a warm tone.”

“Pink is a pretty tone!”

Sherlock sighed, “Fine, but don’t blame me if it clashes.”

John stared in disbelief, “what in the—"

“Daddy!!!” exclaimed Rosie jumping up from the floor to greet him.

“John?” Sherlock said sitting up. “I thought you were working.”

“I was. Got out early. Is this what always happens when I’m at work?”

“Daddy, look at my makeup! Sherlock looked at a tooter-orial on the internet for princess makeup. And this is my princess make up! Do you like it? Is it pretty?” 

“You look lovely, Darling,” John assured her. 

“See! I told you pink is pretty!” she said turning to Sherlock triumphantly.

“If you recall, I never suggested that pink was not 'pretty' I only pointed out that it is a warm color and not a cool color.” Explained Sherlock, not impatiently. “Also, the correct pronunciation is ‘tutorial’.” 

Rosie remained unfazed as she clambered up on to sherlock’s lap brandishing her brush almost ruthlessly. Sherlock caught her wrist just a spit-second before she stabbed him in the eye. “Gently,” he reminded her.

“Oops. Sorry!” she said cheerfully and went on with her work in a much more delicate and focused manner. Sherlock, with eyes closed, sat perfectly still, which wasn’t an uncommon sight, however, with red lipstick smeared messily on his lips it was difficult for John to keep a straight face.

“I must say,” said John, as Rosie had finally gotten bored and trotted off. “You were right about the makeup. This was definitely worth it.” He laughed, poking Sherlock’s cheek which was coated heavily in some of the pink blush only adding to the natural color rising to his cheeks.

With dignified air, Sherlock bent to pick up the lipstick. Very deliberately screwed the stick and slowly applied the lipstick to his bottom lip looking John directly in the eye the whole time. He smacked his lips together, before recapping the lipstick with an overly dramatic flourish and spinning around sharply on his heel. 

“Just be grateful I’ve saved you the trouble of finding Rosie a mother for her next birthday present,” Sherlock called over his shoulder.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Kudos and comments appreciated!


End file.
